Justin and I have had little time to sit and write a new blog together. So, this week I am cheating just a little. Justin has been preaching the Wednesday night services at our home church for the month of February. Last night was part one of the Back to Basic in Marriage Series: What the Bible says to Husbands. Below you will find his sermon (in outline form…sorry). I hope this will encourage you as a husband, soon to be husband, future husband, or wife. America’s greatest danger to marriage and the family are husbands, wives, and parents losing sight and focus of what the Bible teaches them about their role in the family. Please enjoy and feel free to comment or ask questions. And Yes! I know how extremely lucky and blessed I am to have this man as my husband!
Back to Basics in Marriage Series
Part 1: What the Bible says to Husbands
You can’t watch the news or read the paper these days and not be confronted with our society’s all-out war being waged on the family and the institution of marriage
As an example, this week, the US Supreme Court ignored the voters of Alabama and allowed a Federal judge to declare it to be the thirty-seventh state to legalize gay marriage
And we certainly don’t want to sit idly by while that happens across our country, and in our very community
But I feel that we run the risk, Church, of losing our focus on the greatest threat
For the greatest danger to marriage and the family in America today is NOT gay marriage!
Yes, you heard that correctly!
Rather the most urgent and pressing danger is husbands, and wives, and parents who have lost sight of what the Bible teaches them about their role in the family!
Of what God Almighty has ordained through the ages as their duties in the covenant of marriage
And when we no longer treat marriage as God intended it, it should be no surprise that the world steps in through the cracks we have created and fills it with their godless ideologies!
The prevalence of gay marriage today breaks my heart, but I still contend that it is a mere symptom of people not knowing what true marriage is in the first place!
And if we are going to turn the tide, it’s not going to be a political solution
It’s got to be God’s people remembering what His Word says about marriage and family and changing our attitudes and actions to match it!
And that’s why I believe this series is needed for us all!
And why, for the next three weeks, we’re going to be getting “Back to the Basics in Marriage”
We’re going to remind ourselves of the Biblical basics in our marriages
Tonight will be the duties of the Godly husband
Next week, we’ll examine the Biblical duties of the Godly wife
And then the final week, we’ll look at the Biblical responsibilities of us both together as Godly parents
And so, as I said, we’re going to begin tonight with what the Bible has to say to us husbands
The very first responsibility I want us to take note of is that the Biblical husband LEADS his wife
Turn in your Bibles to Ephesians ch. 5, and we’ll read v. 22-2323 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
The husband is commanded by God to be the head of his house and of his wife
This command is almost hopelessly misunderstood in our world today, so we want to diligently seek its meaning, and make sure that we know exactly what God is talking about
For, perhaps more than anything else, God’s expectation of leadership is integral to the very identity of what it means to be a husband
So let’s establish, first, what being the leader, or head, of your family does not mean
It does not mean that you are a dictator, or that you reign supreme over your wife like a master would over a slave in Paul’s day
You do not exercise absolute power in your relationship, with your wife having no say at all
Rather, the picture Paul is painting is one of a unique partnership, where one member of the union (the wife) willingly submits to the authority of the other (the husband)
The Godly husband’s choices for his family are not made unilaterally, but in consultation with, and consideration of, his wife and helpmate
This picture of authority and submission does not reflect the worth of either in the eyes of God – it is merely a reflection of the roles God has ordained for each since the Creation itself
As God says in Genesis, when we marry, we become “one flesh” and find out worth together in His eyes
And we invite social disaster when we reject what God has established!
Perhaps even more blasphemous, in my opinion, are the men out there who reject their leadership role entirely
The man-children who are too selfish and lazy to be the leader God called them to be and effectively force the job upon their wives
If that describes anyone in here, this is your opportunity to grow up, take the reins, and be the head of your wife, and lead her, as the Bible commands******************************************
Moving on now to our 2nd responsibility of the Biblical husband, we see next that he PROTECTS his wife
You actually won’t have to turn anywhere for this one
We’ll just keep reading in Ephesians 5 and read v.25-27 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Men, I’ve got to ask, do you protect your wives?
Who here, if a stranger barged into those doors right now and assaulted your wife, would sit idly by and let it happen?
See, we still have the instinct to protect our family and those close to us from physical dangers
But God is not talking about physical dangers only here
He’s comparing our sanctification and protection of our wives to that that Jesus does for His Bride (the Church!)
Jesus will not allow any spot or wrinkle or blemish to come upon His Church – He protects it at all costs and from all dangers
We all agreed that we’d step up to protect our wives from physical harm
But what about non-physical harm?
- Do we tolerate verbal insults and sleights?
- Do we react with the same ferocity to one who causes emotional hurt to our spouse?
- If she is hurting spiritually, do we wrap our arms around her and make sure she knows you are going to protect her from everything?
- Does she have the assurance that you will not stand for a single “spot, or wrinkle, or any such [hateful] thing”, will be able to get to her?
If we are not doing this, men, then we are disobeying God’s command in Ephesians 5!
We are not loving our wives as Christ, and we are not protecting them as He is calling us to
We see next that the Godly husband PROVIDES for his wife
I’m going to read 1 Timothy 5:8 says this:
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
We could go on all night, husbands, but, in the interests of time, we’ll look at two more duties of the Biblical husband
And the 4th is of the utmost importance
For it reveals to us that the Godly husband must LOVE his wife
We see this command numerous times
While we’re still in Ephesians 5, let’s re-read v. 25 one more time
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it
Then Paul says again in Colossians 3:19
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
What the Bible is saying, husbands, is that you are to love your wife more than any other human being
- And, yes, that includes your kids
- And it includes you meddling in-laws too!
No one, except God Himself, is to hold your heart like your wife
You are to cherish her and to always treat her with tenderness and affection
We’ve all heard the story of the old couple who get in an argument
- The poor exasperated wife finally breaks and screams at her husband for never telling her that he loves her
- And the husband shoots right back that he told her he loved her when they got married and that he’d let her know if it ever changed
I’m not going to lie, I hate that story
For we hear it and laugh, but it makes a mockery of the sad reality of so many unhappy marriages in America today
Men, if you love your wife, TELL her you love her!
And, better yet, SHOW her that you love her too!
Now let’s see what God has to say about the depths of the love we are to show
For our command to love our wife is shown by Him in almost graphic detail in Proverbs 5:18-1918 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Husbands, God has called you to, not just be affectionate toward your wife, but to have a deep and passionate love for her
It is to be so overwhelming that the only thing greater is Jesus love for the Church itself
Oh, may we discover what it means to love each other as God intended!
Our culture of divorce and adultery wouldn’t stand a chance! *****************************************
Then, the 5th and final characteristic we’ll examine tonight is this…the Godly husband is a man who always seeks to HONOR his wife
Turn with me to 1 Peter, ch. 3, and we’ll read our final Scripture together
When you get there, let’s read 1 Peter 3:7
- 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
We are called to honor our wives and to esteem them as our partners and fellow-heirs with Jesus Christ
Men, if we are going to win the war for marriage, we have got to look beyond the hot-button politics of the day, and get back to the basics of what the Bible says about our o the basics of what the Bible says about our own marriages
We must stop dealing treacherously with our wives and we must step up, embrace our Biblical duties and
our wives as God calls every husband to.